whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
