If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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