if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
