It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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