My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
