whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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