I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
