I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
