Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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