The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
