finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
