exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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