Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
