i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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