Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
