Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
