remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
