there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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