No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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