And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
