Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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