she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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