escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
