I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't deserve a penis
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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