dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Everyone says I win the strip club
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
