I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
