you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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