4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
