Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
