DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
