...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
