well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
