There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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