UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
