i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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