It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
