i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
