Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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