Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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