a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
