I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
