i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
