man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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