Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
