im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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