Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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