i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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