So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
