I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
