I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
