it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
