I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
